Summer Vacation or Summer Madness?

deep end

Two weeks ago, I packed up Liev for an impromptu vacation.

This morning, I finally recovered from that vacation.

Sometimes, I question the soundness of my urges to take my son on “getaways.”

I am autistic. Grocery shopping, doctor’s visits, and busy restaurants leave me jittery and unnerved. Yet, I longed to take a beach holiday. A holiday alone with my similarly autistic son.

Was this madness or bravery?

My history of adventures with my son is consistent. I endure the effort of each trip with cheer. When I return home, however, I teeter on the brink of a nervous collapse for days.

Bedtime meltdowns in particular promote post-trip burnout. Our typical nights in strange places are pandemonium. In the past, he has knocked over lamps, yanked pictures off the wall and even  called 911.

This  trip he dozed off without incident–every single night.  A first!

Hooray for Liev !

Nevertheless, I wonder why I undertake such grand adventures.

Part of it is boredom. I can’t bear the same walls or the same air any longer. Monotony abrades my soul, like skin continuously chafed.  I must move to find relief. A shift, a detour from the routine invigorates me.

getaway

Liev benefits as well.  A five minute meltdown is still only five minutes in the span of hours. The same outburst could occur at Market Basket over a coveted candy bar.  I am not mad to prefer beach meltdowns over queue meltdowns.

My son inherited my temperament. One day he will feel as I do. He will languish, bored and stifled by even the sweetest existence. At that moment, I hope he will plunge into fresh water and breathe fragrant air, leaving his doldrums behind.

Double 911 Easter Surprise!

Easter Vacation

Our family never does things in typical fashion. Our holidays are a good example.

The three of us left for Maine in two separate cars. Papa planned to stay overnight Friday and return home to sing loudly  Saturday and Sunday.

Meanwhile, Tyoma and I would enjoy a blissful vacation at the Hearthstone House, compliments of my parents.

I learned two things from my trip.

First–I should always have a solid, written plan.

I am accustomed to travelling with  Mom–my backup frontal cortex. My husband prefers to “play it by ear.”   I need all contingencies clarified, discussed, and documented.

The second thing I learned–unplug the telephones at the destination.

After a two hour drive with the question machine, I took a lovely shower. I stepped out to a ringing phone. I picked up. The man identified himself as emergency services.  Appalled, I realized Tyoma must have dialed 911 while I showered.

Despite my explanation, the operator remained dubious. The chaos and screaming in the background certainly contributed to his concern.

The police showed up in less than five minutes. I asked my son if he wanted to meet the nice officers. Tyoma’s resultant paroxysm of shrieking satisfied understanding policemen, who had special training in dealing with autistic individuals.

The police showed up second time Sunday.

At 4:00 am Easter morning,  Tyoma and I were sleepless. He occupied himself with math worksheets as I played Spider Solitaire. From downstairs, a thunderous racket emerged:

WHAM, wham, WHAM, creak, creak, tinkle-scrape.

I thought,  “Radiator? No. Radiators don’t tinkle or scrape.”

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Creak, creak, rattle, rattle, tinkle-scrape.

I thought, “That sounds like a screen door slamming violently in the wind.” I looked outside. No wind.

WHAM!  Wham, wham, creak, creak, rattle, rattle, tinkle-SCRAPE, SCRAPE, SCRAAAPE!

I realized, “Oh, Dear God! Someone’s trying to BREAK IN!!

And then I thought, “Where did I hide the phones Friday night?!”

I slapped the nearest window with menace.  As my brain spun, I tried to recall where I put the phones. I slapped the window until I saw a phone atop a bookshelf.  I spent the next 90 seconds fumbling with the jack to plug it in.

I called 911. The police were there in minutes.

Officers scoured the neighborhood with infra-red cameras and flashlights as bright as helicopter lights. The emergency service responder chatted on the phone with me for the next 45 minutes as the combed the area.

A sweet, obviously excited officer met with me after an hour search. He told me drinkers often get lost and try to enter the wrong house. This explained the racket. What stealthy robber makes such a commotion?

The policemen explained that a series of similar rental properties rested a block below us. They still planned to patrol for the next two hours, but reassured me the person was likely sleeping it off elsewhere.

Despite the turmoil, Tyoma placidly read and filled out worksheets. He resembled a little professor with his calculator, workbook and serious frown. I felt even prouder when he fell back to sleep at six o’clock.

Digital elements by Rosey Posey and Tangie Baxter.

Recovery from February “Vacation”

Pity

February Vacation Week

Last week was hard, and I still feel it.

The final week in February, our school system gives everyone a week off. I think of it as February Flu Week.  People use the time to recover from the onslaught of Northeastern viruses.

School vacations are hard for autistic  kids and parents. The lack of structure and break from routine makes me twitchy and obsessive.   I hoped one of our two respite workers would give me a break. I need time to regroup. No such luck. One took off to visit with her parents and the other’s daughter had pneumonia.

That is disappointing, but not overwhelming. The overwhelming part came later.

My Husband Leaves on Business

Earlier last week, my husband flew to a faraway state to do laser physics stuff. I had a mini-meltdown before he departed.  Unknown trip schedules, uncertain respite care, and inadequate preparation time left me disjointed and forsaken.

Anxiety!

I obsessed over shopping. We were down to ketchup, oranges and pickles. I winced, thinking of taking Tyoma to the store.  On a good day we have fun. On a bad day, I haul his writhing form out of the produce department, leaving a trail of pulpy fruit behind us (most meltdowns occur over using the scales).

Preparations for the impending snowstorm worried me.  Our neighborhood loses power easily and for long periods of time. I imagined starting our generator and re-arranging circuitry for house power. I further visualized clearing our driveway of the 10 inches of expected snow. What was I to do with Tyoma? Duct tape him to his pushchair? Send him to the neighbors so he could flush their washcloths down the toilet? Sigh.

Finally, I worried over Tyoma’s sleep issues. He often wakes once at night, but with the changes, I expected multiple awakenings and agitation.  When Papa is away, I average 3-4 hours of sleep a night.

Action

I needed schedules. I must have a picture in my mind of expectations or I disintegrate.

Pen and paper in hand, I got it together. I made a plan to entertain Tyoma, at home, for five days. I shopped extensively before my husband’s plane took off.   I called the neighbors for help with the driveway.  I moved Tyoma to Papa’s bed for a campout.

redshirt1
T's first iron-on number shirt.

Many things worked out spectacularly. We kept busy for most of our break. We visited tall buildings with elevators, made iron-on number shirts and explored the bathtub with his very first mask. We played with balloons, bubbles, and building kits. Tyoma even halfway enjoyed the snow.

snowboy
Not in love with winter.

 

Aftermath

Not everything was flawless. If I needed to be reminded that shopping at two stores in a row is not a good idea, the mega-meltdown at Michael’s (No! Don’t buy the Shrinky Dinks! NOOOOOOO! NOT THE SHRINKY DINKS!!!!), refreshed my memory.

I am still deciding if it was wise to let him camp out in our room. Past business trips left me camping in his room. Multiple night awakenings seemed longer when he was in his own room. I slept on the floor, uncomfortable and harassed. This time, I was comfortable, but twice annoyed.

At two in the morning on Saturday, Tyoma decided to measure our bedroom using various sizes of footsteps. He recorded them faithfully in a workbook, which suggested the foul activity. I requested a quieter game. For the next two hours he excitedly practiced division and remainder problems.

Papa and respite care returned. Life is better. But more than that, my life improves by documenting what I have done. I have transformed self-pity and anxiety into pride.

Digital elements by Rebecca McMeen.

Vacation!

trip

I am hauling my elderly disabled mother and Aspie son off for a week in Ogunquit Maine while Papa has a “Staycation” at home. I hope to have some interesting stories when I get home!