I hesitate to post this, due to the souska, but he still looks pretty cute. Tanya was a bit tearful before she left, and our delicate little guy picked up on it and needed his souska to say good bye without major fussiness and running around.
>Tanya expressed her ideas about toilet training. I think she meant well, but it came out a bit snarky, anyway. In Russia, she explained, a mother’s first job is to toilet train her child. She said it was very important, especially since blankets and sheets had to be washed. Pampers changed all that she lamented, since it is so easy to let them go. She even asked for a potty and to start training.
Is it just me, or does that sound like a sly way of her saying that I don’t know what I’m doing? I don’t want to think that way, but I feel it. My own research tells me that you can “train” but that you will not be accident free until a certain internal milestone is reached. I don’t think that he’s anywhere near ready and that putting him on the potty will freak him out. He won’t sit for it.
So she wants to try. I don’t care. I talked to TF about it, he said get the potty, let her do it, and ignore her. He also said that I should ignore her drama over Tyoma’s crying, because it’s not about me, it’s about Tanya and how she feels. This maybe true, but I can feel the tension and it makes me feel like a prisoner in my own home. It’s been less than two weeks and I am ready for her to go back to Moscow.
>I am about to loose my mind. I feel angry, frustrated and a teeny bit hopeless.
Tyoma is having trouble sleeping. He won’t nap during the day and he’s waking up at night. I remember sleep problems last time Tanya visited, but that was long ago. He’s older now. But as soon as she visits, his behavior is whack. It seems like he can’t sleep because he gets too excited. He needs calm and quiet, or just to be ignored until he cries it out.
It seems like sleep always gets messed up when Tanya’s here. I think it is because she does not respect my way of doing things. When he was a baby, I’d have to shoo her out of his room at night and during the day. She disrupted everything. I dunno, it just seems like I need to be doing the same thing I always do for sleep and when she’s here he cries more and he’s upset more. But we must keep to our little schedule that he is used to, otherwise it makes it worse and he gets even more wound up.
She tells me that she raised two boys and that she knows. Well, I’ve done a fine job raising Tyoma who slept just fine before you came, thankyouverymuch. I have little clouds of cartoon steam coming out of my ears now. I hate drama in my home. I hate that she makes a big deal of swishing out of her room on to the back porch so she can’t hear him cry. Ugh.
If that was not bad enough, he’s skipping his nap. So now he’s not sleeping during the day and he’s having trouble sleeping at night. It’s just getting worse. The move was easier on him than her visit. I think because I was in control and I didn’t change any rules to placate her. I hate that she dramatizes his crying as if I am killing him. Its all about her and how she feels and not about how we do things here and keep order.
No one listens to me. TF stays uninvolved. I am making an appointment with a pediatrician to get some support. Grrr, grrr, grrr.
>Tanya arrives from Moscow today. I hope that our visit goes well, I expect so since there is so much I need to do and her help will allow me to get stuff done without taxing Tyoma. He does not like to shop or go out much.
I can’t believe that we are mostly moved in! I was able to get so much done when mom was here, but a multitude of boxes still remain, unopened, unorganized.
I feel so scatter-brained. The hardest part of moving is finding a new permanent place for all the stuff we use. I can’t keep track of my car keys, purse or scissors since they don’t have a “place” yet. this is so frustrating. It will all come together, but it’s harder than you think to know all of the places in your new home and to transmit onto this new space a map of where your old stuff used to go. Labels. I need lists and labels!