Adapting to Family Illness

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I prefer not to post vague references to personal events–I either share proudly or maintain privacy. Nevertheless, events occur that require delicacy to balance discretion and disclosure.

Last week I put my mother in a skilled nursing facility. Mom had hid her illness to protect Dad and me, but when her health took such a sudden and alarming decline, Egor and I flew to New Mexico to help.

Mom wanted to stay home, but we could not honor her request and keep my father safe as well. She agreed to the changes we needed to make and is content in her new place.

I do not know how long Mom will be with us, but I do know how much Dad needs us. During their 50 years of marriage, they have rarely parted for more than a few days.  Dad says the house is painfully empty without her.

I call Mom and Dad daily. Every month I will fly out.  A Quiet Week in the House will continue as a creative outlet, but I am scaling back on interactions to focus on family.

Thank you for reading my posts and sharing your thoughts and well-wishes. I look forward to connecting with you more in the future. Your visits  mean a great deal to me.

Warmest wishes,


30 thoughts on “Adapting to Family Illness

  1. Wow!
    This was must have been a difficult but was definitely a brave decision.
    I was a nursing assistant in nursing homes for 7 years. I watch many families battle with this tough decision as well as feelings of guilt. We must make decisions best for everyone in our family the way we see fit. Continue to stay strong. I send positive energy your way

    1. Thank you so much for your kind wishes. I just got back from New Mexico last night to help Dad out with several issues. I feel much better about him staying on his own.

      Love and appreciation,

    1. Bless you, Amy!

      It’s been a hard handful of months, but Mom is doing better. Dad too. For a while it was crazy hard, I was certain she would not last the week when we first flew back to New Mexico. Now, Mom is doing wonderful and accepting help, therapy, and medicine.This was a big step for our whole family. You bring me such pleasure with your posts and insights. Thank you for being a friend. <3


  2. I wish you and your family all the best, and hope the situation is still stable.

    (a bit belated… I reread your post just now and am surprised to discover that I had not already done this, I thought I had but that was just thoughts apparently).

    1. Thank you, Anna.

      I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with visits, lawyers, and paperwork. Mom is much better, but she will be living permanently in a skilled care facility. Dad is adjusting and drives out to spend most of his day with her. <3

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