Black Sun

Black Sun

No painful event has befallen me, though I feel razed. Because of the sun.  Unlike children’s crayon drawings, its heat is not orange and welcoming. Its heat is black and foul. Like asphalt. Like pitch.

Summer sops up my vigor.  I wake up unwell, unrested, uneven. Inertia anchors me in front of screens. I could watch movies all day. Filling my head with other people’s acted-out emotions whisks me away in 90 minute intervals.

It shall pass. I know, I know, I know. Within a day, within a week, I will be chirping at my family, filled with odd songs and silly dances. Nevertheless, I marvel at how gloriously miserable I can feel when all is well.

11 thoughts on “Black Sun

  1. I also find the summer sun and heat to be depressing. I know of other Aspies who say so as well. I find the heat makes me sad, and tired, which in turn causes a terrible feeling of loneliness, even when I’m surrounded by my children, and family.

    1. Laurilie,

      Thank you for dropping by and taking a moment to comment. I am sad to hear that the heat has the same, sad effect on you. It’s work to reach out to others. It was kind of you to do so with me. I look forward to rejoicing in the fall with you!


  2. I know this feeling it comes to me with the long run of winter though. Sending (soothing and cool hugs) your way and some lovely glowing black sun beams. They look rather ethereal kind of like an aurora gleam.

    I’ll need some glowing bright sunshine hugs come Jan. 😉

    1. YES. THIS. Heat makes me reeeeeeeally anxious, and the worst part is I sort of become a little bit obsessed with it, it sort of gets into everything. Hope you’re okay!!

      1. Thank you so much! I don’t know what it is about the heat, but it is very disorganizing. My executive function goes in the toilet, so yes, that means more anxiety here too! I appreciate the comment and the support. It means a great deal to hear that others have similar struggles.


    2. Thank you Angel. I will remember you in the dark winter. I appreciate you visiting me and finding cheer in blackness. That is what one must do! 🙂

    1. Thank you for thinking of me. A day or so of cool weather fell on us so I feel much better. I am counting the days until the next equinox! (hugs)


  3. Summer is upon us here in the subtropics of Queensland.
    Its not the heat but the humidity I cannot get used to.
    And this year, the ongoing lack of rain in what is still spring I believe has my allergies sitting on my sinuses like a constant layer of tar clogging my breathing and my brain.
    I love Australia but it’s climate, while beautiful on photos and postcards has a lot of downsides…

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