At 2:30 this morning, Tyoma discovered that his new crib bumper was the work of the devil. His screams woke us at 12:30. After ten minutes of aggravated fiddling, I untied the vile thing. Meanwhile my dazed husband took him down stairsfor jello. As I cursed and struggled with fabric ties, I began to feel more and more nauseated. By the time I finally settled the baby down to sleep, I felt practically incapacitated by nausea. I rousted Egor and asked him to whip me up a glass of the stomach medicine his mom had brought from Russia–she knew that I kept picking up tummy bugs from Tyoma and thought it might help.
So my next few hours were spent fretting that the unknown medicine would kill me in my sleep, especially since my belly began to cramp painfully (naturally subsequent research revealed that the substance is as harmless as charcoal). At 6:20 when TF came in to wake me, I told him I was sick and that he would have to get Tyoma ready for school by himself.
Throughout the history of mankind, a more shocked expression a man’s face has never existed! It was as if I had told him that he needed to amputate my left leg with a butter knife while singing “America the Beautiful.”. To add to the comedy, he donned his favorite hoodie backwards.
I felt so miserable, I didn’t even laugh. I fell back asleep, after answering a countless questions and reminding him a dozen times to not forget Tyoma’s blankie.
I partially recovered in the afternoon and was very grateful to his Mama for helping with Tyoma, who once again skipped his nap. I swear, we have never had so much trouble with getting sick in our lives!