The Contraption

To cope with the seasonal escalation of floods in the sunroom, Tennisfiend has devised The Contraption.

The contraption consists of an extra-large plastic trash can with a two-inch hole drilled on the bottommost side. Secured into the hole with silicone, a short length of pvc pipe is connected to a twenty foot length of remnant vinyl pool hose. The vinyl hose extends from the trash can and past the east and south sides of the house where it reconnects with a four foot length of pvc near the driveway.

When it rains, The Contraption is swiftly positioned under the most problematic roof corner, to catch rainwater. Unfortunately, this position varies according to the intensity of the rain, often requiring numerous trips through one of the sunroom windows (the back door is taped shut during serious rainstorms) to place it correctly. The Contraption actually works just like it is supposed to, filling up with rain water which exits through the vinyl hose and is drained down the driveway. For the first several rainstorms, The Contraption worked quite well, but these were the insignificant storms of June, incomparable to the deluges of July and August.
The first big rainstorm revealed that to adequately transport the roof runoff to the driveway, we would need a Contraption about the size of a Ford Expedition. The Contraption was so swiftly overwhelmed by the flood that it floated away and had to be held in position with a broom stuck through a window until it filled with enough water to stay put. Tennisfiend and I were briefly at odds over how much of a difference it made, but frankly, when the water is two inches above the back door, the 39 gallons circulated by The Contraption is trivial.
Of course, the next day we considered gutters for the roof, even taking measurements with some optimism. Despite our sad financial situation, and possible move to another state, we will not leave the next owners of our house stuck with this problem, like the previous owners did to us. Unfortunately, we discovered that a downspout is required every thirty feet, which still doesn’t solve the flooding problem! We will keep you posted about our next genius plan.

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