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Moms learn quickly to be suspicious when little ones are too quiet. They have clearly found an entirely new and fascinating way to cause trouble and chances are, you will have one heck of a clean-up to do.
Tyoma played quietly as I pumped his lunchtime breast milk. I could see and hear him happily entertaining himself in the baby gulag. I finished up, trotted into the kitchen, put on water for coffee and fixed breakfast. He continued to babble happily—no shrieks, yells or hoots (his latest milestone is making an awful racket). As I walked past the gulag on the way to the bathroom I received the shock of my life. 
Unprecedented Monster Poop Explosion–all over the playpen. I was so astounded I didn’t even speak. Tyoma looked up at me and smiled sweetly, waving the same little poopy hands that had smeared a foul greenish-yellow trail around the sides of the gulag. His arms, elbows, legs and knees were poopy. The track they left on the white matelasse bedspread under the gulag looked like a gigantic bull’s eye target done in poo. He had poop on his feet, face and neck. Miraculously, his hair was spared.
Did I mention his toys were poopy? Oversize fabric blocks, talking tops, musical balls, and teethers streaked with brown.  Oh, Lord. I tried to change him and clean him up in the nursery but he smeared poopy rainbows on the wall. I scrambled to clean him up in the shower, but quit when I could not find my shower chair. With the baby bathtub in the kitchen sink, I managed to hose the poo off with the kitchen sprayer. To squeals of delight, I changed him on the nursery floor since the changing table was a disaster area.
I called mom to watch baby as I cleaned up and I spent the next two hours hard at work. I disassembled the gulag, hauled it out to the driveway, scoured it thoroughly, rinsed it with the pressure washer and left it to bake in the 100 plus afternoon sun. I defy poo germs to survive that!  Similarly I washed toys, blankets and the gulag matelasse. I scrubbed a few spots on the carpet and called it a day.
E.T.A. 6-30-2007
A mini-poo tsunami was caught before a full gulag contamination. Turns out Tyoma has been ripping off the right hand diaper tab as he is being changed, thus causing the diaper contents to leak. So, when Tennisfiend we change diapers, we make sure both tabs are on firmly.

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