I am so grateful to always take someone with me to my appointments. Today, my midwife, Sarah Seamstress, found a heart arrhythmia with Tyoma. Pat was with me in the office, taking copious notes. All I heard were the words “heart arrhythmia,” and I sank into despair and anxiety. I did not seem to hear that 90% of the time this is developmental and indicative of nothing. After telling me about the arrhythmia, Sarah hurried me over to the ultrasound room “for my peace of mind.” When the tech confirmed the arrhythmia, I heard concern in her voice as she asked Sara to schedule an appointment with a perinatologist. I was so overwhelmed that I spaced out while they discussed whether they should send me to Albuquerque or El Paso. The Ultrasound tech said she’d call me tomorrow (translation, in three days) to let me know about the appointment.
I went home and immediately googled everything I could find on heart arrhythmias, and made peace with myself, vowing not to obsess over the problem since I can do nothing. I vowed to give up my daily indulgence of a cup of white tea since I had two cups today. With less caffeine than a soda, this should not be a problem, but at least I feel like I am doing something.
The best thing I can do for myself is to read Pat’s notes and reassure myself that everything is okay. I am so thankful to have a no-nonsense, non-neurotic friend. What a lifesaver!