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I’ve been a cranky hormonal mess. In November, the acne freight train,  dropped off twin parcels of cheek pimples and a load of painful chin bumps. I’m better now, though still freaked out over using anything but the softest rain water on my face for fear of baby contamination.  Too much in the news about autism and other developmental problems for me to use shampoos with sulfates or even shaving cream for my legs.

Oh, no! I think that I just realized what’s making me irritable! Lack of 21st century chemicals. Well, after baby is born and I’ve nursed him for a year I’ll  go rub my body in Pantene and Twinkies.

So, last night Egor told me that he wants his mother to come here and stay for a few months of my pregnancy. My first reply was, “Oh, hell no!”  I am so totally spazzed out over the slightest thing that I can’t imagine having to get the house ready for a visit plus entertain his mother,  in Russian, for two months. My mom is handling me with kid gloves, Patricia shovels big buckets of sweet sugar on me, and I’m still a mess.

But, E said how much it would help me and him. He said I needed her and most of all,  it would mean so much to his mom to be a part of my pregnancy. I cried, I wept, but I eventually said, “Okay, if you really think we need it.” 

He called and gave them the green light.

I could not sleep that night. I really, really really did not want his mom here. At all. Until after the baby is born. I can’t even put my reason in words, it just feels like it would be too much stress. Stress for me, not so bad, but stress on my baby is unacceptable. So I cried and cried and pleaded and he called the family and told them it would be too hard for me. Everything is okay, now. But I get the impression that they don’t understand why I don’t want company. I just don’t. I’m not that person. I am a happy book reading, TV watching, writing little hermit.

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