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It’s so hard to write with everything going on. I’m having trouble sharing my anxiety and fears. My worry over the baby being okay is surreal. I could spend all day obsessing over terrible incidents. There seems to be no limit to the circles of worry winding around my brain. and there is absolutely no end to the horrible things you can find on google. I pray that birth brings an end to this crushing anxiety and obsession.

Today, the amnio results were supposed to come in, but unfortunately the bit of blood that contaminated the sample will delay the results for another six days.

Five minutes after Loretta called me, I panicked, thinking that I would have to repeat the procedure. After a twenty minute Internet search, I broke down and called her. No, I won’t have to retake the test. Whew.

It’s so hard to write with everything going on. I’m having trouble sharing my anxiety and fears. My worry over the baby being okay is surreal. I could spend all day obsessing over terrible incidents. There seems to be no limit to the circles of worry winding around my brain. And there is absolutely no end to the horrible things you can find on google. I pray that birth brings an end to this crushing anxiety and obsession.

It would be so much better if I could talk to someone. Egor shuts down and I feel that my mom has been freaking out non-stop since I got pregnant, adding to my stress. Thank god for Patricia, but I don’t want to become her Charlotte, invading her tranquility with my non-stop preoccupations.

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