No, I haven’t been bitten by a zombie, but rather this my state after suppressing stims!
“Stims,” autistic slang for “self-stimulating behavior,” is a misnomer. I am not “stimulating” myself. Before I rock or spin or sing I am overstimulated to begin with!
“Self-stimulating behavior” is the sort of label scientists give behaviors they don’t fully understand. You could file it away next to “Refrigerator Mothers” or embrace its irony and make a night of it.
So here I am, two weeks late, celebrating the “Night of the Living Stim,” a delightful event where stims are celebrated by their owners. I hope sharing my experience opens your eyes and makes you smile. Perhaps you might try stimming yourself!
I inhale deeply and stretch as if to embrace the world. Thus positioned, I am ready for flaps or perhaps a foray of wild spins. Exaltations of “woo” complete my whirling celebration of toads, cookies, or wilderness walks. I stim most often when I am happy.
Stims represent many things to me.
My stims are a dance. I don’t need a beat or bass line to keep internal time. Emotion is the pulse that swells the tide inside my mind. I am over-excitable and celebratory in a lively, visual way.
My stims are transcendent. I go where shamans go; to a self-generated euphoria of thought so intense it becomes movement. The divine is sublimated into circular motion and sinuous courses.
My stims are a weapon. At times, intense anxiety pushes my body to flee or fight, with no enemy in sight. I duck and dodge, rock and swing to placate primitive instinct. I battle ferociously when I sway like a boat.
What is stimming like?
Picture yourself at the edge of a cliff, breathing in the fear of a plummeting descent. Whoosh! You have been pushed over and find yourself zinging toward the earth. Without thought, you flail your limbs and to your surprise, you are uplifted by wings you never knew you had. The rhythm of beating wings is your stim, your tool to save yourself from rocky chasms or to hoist yourself heavenwards.
Remember this when you see us soar.
Night of the Living Stim developed by:
Monkey Pliers @monkeypliers
Renee Salas @srsalas13
Ben Forshaw @bjforshaw
Bridget Allen @ItsBridgetsWord
Bloggers supporting the event: